existential crisis

These days - almost every night, as I lay in my bed doing nothing, lots of thoughts seems bothering myself. Like who am I? What is the point I'm in this universe? Am I, somehow planned to be something big, and every opportunities that I unknowingly rejected actually leads me to that plan? Why am I living? Am I some kind of the main character where the other people in this so called world are just the supporting roles? Is heaven and hell are real? If so, will I stay forever? How long is forever?

These thoughts always keeps filling my head and never really resolved and just keep adding more and more. Curiosity keeps me aware that there are so much possibility in this world. So many mysteries that man kind haven't found out yet. And if we put what have been discovered into percentage- how many percent is that? Could it be 70% ? Or maybe we haven't really going into half of the percentage about what's really happening in this world? 

But I figured out that science and all are seems so real and that it just stating facts facts and more facts. And all of the things that science can ever figured out is something with proofs. There are many things that probably doesn't have an exact proof. Like, faith to God, spiritual thingy, even love (which is something that scientists says a natural thing that occurs on human mind-and there are no such related into faith slash so contrary with what I really believe).

Well, for me? I did put some faith into something unknown and abstract. Like the faith to God. I believe in Him, I know Him - although not directly but through the bible , the testifiers and all - but I believe it. I believe that there is something big that human race could never literally tested as if in science. I believe in blessing and faith and how people can be connected with each other through some secret knots. Things like that make people survive the hard time because they think of a little hope where the creator of the universe give to each and everyone of us. 

kbye.

Stop Procrastinating....

"STOP PROCRASTINATING....."
"STOP PROCRASTINATING....."
"STOP PROCRASTINATING....."

This is actually what I've been listening repetitively in my mind. I mean although the fact i'm in holiday, nothing really pressuring me to have such duty on doing such a task.
But, then I remember all of those things that I suppose to achieve but I keep delaying it with studying for tests , homework, etc as an excuse.

So here are the things that I NEED to gain by this holiday :

1. Lose 10 pounds with this kind of behavior that I'm doing? Yep it will be quite a challenge
2. Buy more SOPHISTICATED books the thing is- every time I read a really good book I become a 20% more sophisticated than ever for around 3 days and then I go back to the flat old me. But with more books - I think the sophisticated side effect could be lasts more longer.
3. Stop eating so much this one is basically related with the thing number 1. So if I achieved number 1 then I'll def achieve number 3. Coolness.
4. Grow a longer shampoo commercial hair. This one is kind of impossible. But I'll try
5. Buy Dr Martens omgg YESS! I want me own Martens! It'll be supah purrfect for my punk-rebel kind of style (at least thats what I think of my style)
6. Update this blog more frequently I think I can do this
6. Stop procrastinating
7. Stop procrastinating
8. Stop procrastinating for the rest of my life

Oh and have you guys watch Anna Kendrick's Pitch Perfect / Cups ( When I'm Gone ) on YouTube? Its' f-ing epic. I kind of learning the thing myself. CHECK IT OUT :))

John Green / "The Fault In Our Stars"

I've been reading this amazing book that everyone's talking about. And it seems that the buzzing good reviews and suggestions to reading this book is truly proven. 

I fell in love with this book instantly from the first chapter. 

The story basically about two teenagers ( a girl and a boy ) who's struggling with cancer and madly in love to each other. I know... I know.... sounds cheesy right ? But the twist and the words in this book that creates such beautiful sentences of metaphors, analogy, etcetera are so damn fascinating that you just can't stop from reading it! This book mostly goes for a romance but not like any mainstream romance, it's a little bit more teasing kind of romance. You know kind of similar teasing when you watch a movie about a couple who def love each other and they've spent a really nice date- yet at the end they still feel a little bit awkward because the guy doesn't really know hot to end that perfect night and you just sit in your couch and screaming "KISS THE GIRL YOU IDIOT!!!"

I'm not going to be a spoiler here so there's not much  I can tell about how the story goes.

But if you-like, seeks for some nice book to read, I am, without doubt, recommended you this masterpiece. Also not to mention, this book is one of the New York #1st Best Sellers.

Here's a preview of the book :

I'm currently at chapter 16 and about to finish the book! I think it's should be longer cause it is so good.

So, let's read it folks, and get ready to be flown away ♥

Silver Lining

( source: Society6 )

I personally refers this anonymous quotation as the Silver Lining rule.

Because, in the darkest moment, where there are so much powerful emotion from certain angst,

we usually doesn't realize of how big damage that we'd probably made up without a proper logical thinking. Do you remember those kind of moment when there are so much anxiety in you that your brain somehow work faster and more sensitive towards things that probably will let  you go off fom the situation which causes the anxiety? That is what I'm talking about. If only human can put such power in the middle of darkest times into something resolving and lead them to success, life would be so much easier  don't you think? But, the real funny thing to me that how human can't fully control themselves. It's always be some kind of a civil war between the heart, mind and the lusts.